IMAGES FROM "FIGHT CLUB"
TEASER
KANSAS CITY, KANSAS
Some Jehovah’s witnesses knock on Betty Templeton’s door. Betty says that she just moved in, and she turns them away.
The men move on to the next house. The woman who opens the door, Lulu Fifer, looks exactly the same as Betty. They tell her this, and she tells them to leave. Suddenly the men start beating each other. Two policemen come and try to separate them, but they knock them out of the way.
ACT ONE
KANSAS CITY, KANSAS
ONE DAY LATER
A man and a woman who appear to be Mulder and Scully (with David and Gillian’s voices) go to Betty’s. They tell her that
the men in the car (from the teaser) beat each other almost to death, and said that she knows something about it.When the camera shows the agents’ faces, we can now see that they are not Mulder and Scully, but people who look very much like them (DD&GA’s photo doubles Steve Kiziak and Arlene Pileggi).
Lulu drives by in a blue car and suddenly the agents start beating each other. The Scully look-alike runs over to their car, gets
in, and pulls away. The Mulder look-alike runs after the car and grabs onto her window.
Mulder shows Scully slides of the agents at the office. He tells her things that she might think he is going to say. He says that
the strange thing is that the two had been working together for seven years without incident. He has her try to guess about the
case, and she says things that sound way out there like he would normally say. She figures out that the agents were
investigating something similar to what they themselves were almost killed by, and that it involves doubles. After she’s guessed
it:MULDER: Don’t go thinkin’ I’m gonna start doing the autopsies.
DOWNTOWN KANSAS CITY
Lulu pulls into Koko’s Copy Center to apply for a job. (She is dressed in blue) The manager asks her about her resume. She’s had seventeen completely different jobs that she’s quit from and keeps moving from place to place. She tells him that she’s there to stay.
Suddenly Betty drives up in a red car and all of the copy machines and equipment start going out of whack. (She’s dressed in pink) The manager tells her she’s got the job. Betty comes in as Lulu leaves.
Betty goes to the copy store later. A different manager there asks about her seventeen jobs (which there were actually more). She’s worked the same jobs in the past as Lulu has. He asks how he knows she isn’t going to quit. She tells him that he has her word. She’s in Kansas City to stay.
PORCHERIE HOTEL
9:17 PM
Bert Zupaneck sits in his hotel room counting money in a suitcase. Mulder and Scully arrive and he hides it. They ask him if he knows anything about Betty. He says he doesn’t. They show him a picture of him at a parade with her (actually Lulu). Scully tells him that she’s gone and they can’t find her. He tells them she used to live on Morton Bay in a pink house. Scully says it was in Alderwood in a blue house.
In the hallway, Scully guesses that Mulder thinks that Zupaneck knows where Betty is and what she’s hiding, and that she should go check out the house on Morton Bay that he mentioned, while he finds out what Zupaneck is hiding. Mulder tells her that he really doesn’t think Zupaneck knows Betty. Scully steps into the elevator.
SCULLY: Well. I guess that’s why they put the ‘I’ in the ‘FBI.’
Mulder stays behind and sees Zupaneck leaving.
FROGGY’S BAR
Zupaneck goes into the bar to get a drink. He sees Betty and sits down beside her. He thinks its Lulu, but soon realizes its someone else.
Lulu walks in. Everything shakes, and then all the glass breaks and starts flying everywhere. Lulu sees Betty as she leaves with Zupaneck.
ACT TWO
PAT DEVINE’S
KANSAS CITY AUDITORIUM
Scully walks in to meet Mulder. He’s sitting in an auditorium chair talking to a man, Saperstein, who he introduces to Scully. Saperstein knows the woman, and that she’ll be there at the wrestling match two days later, along with Zupaneck (Titanic), who will be fighting. Lulu is his good luck charm.
Scully asks if they’re just supposed to wait for her. Mulder (jokingly) lists some things that they could do while their waiting. He says that’s unless she’s found Betty. She tells him that finding her won’t do them any good unless they also find Lulu. Mulder asks who Lulu is, and she tells him that she lived, until the day before, on Morton Bay Street in a pink house. There seems to be no connection between the two women, except that Betty and Lulu have traveled city to city across seventeen states, one alternately trailing the other for the past twelve years. Wherever they have been, mayhem has followed. It’s not just car accidents and fist fights, but things such as house fires, explosions, and riots.
SAPERSTEIN: The lady knows her stuff.
When Mulder and Scully leave, Saperstein calls Zupaneck and tells him that he needs the money. He tells him not to worry and that he’ll bring it to him. Betty is in bed with Zupaneck. He tells him that he’s having lunch at Froggy’s, and if there’s no money, there’s no fight.
Betty realizes she’s going to be late for work, so she jumps up. While she’s in the bathroom, Lulu comes in. She yells at Zupaneck because he was supposed to meet her at the bar the night before, and she thinks he’s cheating on her. She finds a Betty Boop hair clip on the bed, but it’s hers. After she’s satisfied, she leaves. As soon as she does, Betty comes out of the bathroom, dressed, and says that she heard voices. He assures her it was nothing. Suddenly shots are fired through the ceiling from the room above.
Saperstein is at the bar waiting for the money. Betty comes in and Saperstein asks her where the Titanic is. He tells her that he is supposed to meet him there. She’s surprised and says that she better freshen up. She was just coming in for lunch. She goes to the bathroom.
Zupaneck comes in with the suitcase. Saperstein tells him that he was just talking to his girlfriend.
Suddenly the room starts shaking like before, and then stops. Lulu walks in. Saperstein asks how she got from the bathroom to the door. Zupaneck tells Lulu that he has a business meeting and that he’ll meet her outside and they’ll have a picnic. She leaves.
Zupaneck starts to talk to Saperstein again when Betty comes out of the bathroom and sees him. Things start to shake again. He tells her he has business to attend to. Saperstein tells him he has more than that to attend to, as Lulu comes back in calling him.
The two women see each other and everything once again shakes. The glass breaks as everyone tries to get out of the way. Betty leaves.
Zupaneck is on the floor unconscious. Saperstein takes his suitcase and leaves.
Mulder and Scully arrive at the bar. Zupaneck wakes up. He realizes he’s missing the money. Mulder asks if he’s lost something, and he tells him he’s lost his good luck. Scully asks him if that would be Betty or Lulu. She tells him that they are the ones who caused it, and they’ll do it again if they can’t find them. She asks him where they are.
Mulder goes into Koko’s Copy Center where Betty is. Betty tells him that it’s Lulu’s fault. She follows her everywhere and causes trouble. She says that this time it’s going to stop, because she’s staying in Kansas. They walk out of the store together.
Mulder calls Scully on the phone. Lulu gave her the exact same story. Scully is now at the same copy place and is watching
Lulu pull away.Betty gets into her red car as Mulder and Scully talk. Scully tells him that she thinks it’s physical proximately and she thinks that they have some kind of psychic connection (and yes, Scully said that on her own). Mulder sees a blue car coming and asks where Lulu is. She tells him that she just left. Mulder asks if she was driving a little blue convertible, which she was. Lulu pulls up in front of Mulder.
MULDER: Oh crap.
The manhole cover blows off. Mulder is sucked across the road into it. The two women pull away, and the manhole cover flies back on.
ACT THREE
Scully gets out of her car and looks for Mulder. She can’t find him anywhere. She goes into Koko’s. The manager tells her that he was there, but he doesn’t know where he went.
Scully thinks of something and asks if they have Internet access. He shows her where to go.
KANSAS CITY PENITENTIARY
7:32 PM
Scully visits a man in the prison.
SCULLY: Mr. ?Damfoose? I’m Special Agent Dana Scully with the FBI.
DAMFOOSE: What’s so special about you?!
SCULLY: It’s an FBI title, Sir.
DAMFOOSE: I know this! I’m not stupid!
He doesn’t want to talk. She tells him that he has two daughters. She’s using documents at a sperm bank, and the women who may have been impregnated by his donation.
DAMFOOSE: I Yankee Doodled into a plastic cup.
She wants to know the history of his parents. He just tells her that a big ugly dog lifted its leg on his family tree.
Betty comes in upset that he isn’t answering his calls. He tells her that he’s screening them because he’s in trouble. He tells her about the money he owes Saperstein. She tells him that she’ll find a way to help him.
When she leaves, Lulu comes. She’s mad about the calls. He tells her the same thing he told Betty.Meanwhile, Betty sneaks into Koko’s and makes copies on the copy machine of some money.
Mulder finally pushes his way out of the manhole.
KANSAS CITY PENITENTIARY
11:38 PM
Mulder calls Scully. He wants to know what happened to the women. She tells him that she doesn’t know, but that she’s found the connection – both have the same father. She tells him that right now he’s the angriest man in the world. He tells her that the women will be angrier when they find out that they’re both in love with the same man. Scully tells him that none of that explains what’s going on, or how they can stop it. He tells her that he doesn’t know. He tells her that somebody’s got to get to the fight to keep the two women apart.
Someone from behind Scully tells her hi. She turns around. He looks exactly like Zupaneck.
ACT FOUR
At the wrestling match, Saperstein tells Zupaneck that he said he would have his money. He tells him it will be there. Betty comes up with a bag of the (fake) money and gives it to Saperstein.
The men start to wrestle. Betty cheers Bert on. Zupaneck is winning.
Mulder comes in. He tells Betty to come with him. She tells him she’s watching the fight. He threatens to remove her.
Lulu comes up behind Mulder. She asks Betty what she’s doing there. She asks her the same. They realize they are both after Bert and go at each other.
Mulder picks Betty up to separate them. On the way out, Betty grabs a hold of the ring and tries to talk to Bert. Lulu appears at the other side and tells him that she brought the money. Saperstein takes it from her before Zupaneck can do anything about it. Fights break out in the audience. Mulder moves Betty farther away.
Mulder stops when he sees Zupaneck’s double and Scully.
Betty and Lulu both see him. Everyone stops fighting.
Zupaneck and his double see each other. The double breaks away from the men who were holding him, and he goes after Zupaneck. Fights break out everywhere again.
Mulder, Scully, and Saperstein are in the office looking at slides. Bert Zupaneck and his double were non paternal biological siblings. Scully is telling Mulder and Saperstein that the doubles had many idiosyncratic behaviors. There was a 27 million to 1 chance that the doubles would ever meet, but they did. The women chanced to meet twelve years ago, and couldn’t seem to avoid each other’s identical mannerisms, that were attributed to their angry father.
Saperstein asks what if all means. Scully says that she would like to say that it has something to do with balance in the universe – the attraction of opposites and the repulsion of equivalents, or that over time, nature can only produce so many originals, and that when two original copies meet, that the result is often unpredictable.
The camera pans to show Scully’s face. It’s all bruised and stitched up.
If four should meet, it’s better just to avoid the encounters all together at all costs. She tells him that she thinks Agent Mulder will agree.
The camera pans to Mulder’s face. His is bruised and stitched up as well. His jaw is also broken, as his mouth is wired shut.
